MEAN STREETS IN MONKEYTOWN

   

            I don't know for sure, but it seems like the world is getting meaner. I sometimes feel as though every time I step out of my door that peril lies just outside. Maybe it's just me being paranoid, but as Kurt Cobain was attributed as saying , "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you."

            It could be the times we live in, these days of financial uncertainty. I especially feel this way when I am behind the wheel of my car. It's as though some people feel that being in control of 2000 pounds of plastic and steel gives them power they aren't experiencing in the rest of their lives. 

            When that power is not recognized, there is an unprecedented level of anger that comes to the surface and is displayed in bizarre ways. Like using their vehicle as a weapon.

            Forget the term Road Rage. That term seems far too timid for the level of what can best be described as venomous hatred toward fellow travelers. Drivers nowadays , in growing numbers, are taking it to an entirely different level.

            No longer is an extended middle finger a sufficient display of  your disapproval with other drivers ineptitude while attempting to navigate the mean streets of Southern California. Now the point needs to be driven home by instilling fear into your fellow driver.

            This is not  to say the middle finger is not an effective way to covey your feelings initially, but it can be a jumping off point that can escalate into a more intense situation. This is depending on the intelligence level of the mobile Neanderthal you are dealing with.

            If your digit exchange is with someone of a higher I.Q.  it is basically a two finger conversation and then you both move on your merry ways. It is generally with your lower level primates that you run into trouble and you can tell almost immediately if you have one of these crazy apes on your hands.

            They are the ones who feel that they need to have a conversation with you, audible or not. If that doesn't satisfy their increasing madness, and they are headed in the same direction as you are, watch out. Their next step is probably going to be one of two things. Tailgating you at a dangerously close distance or  speeding up to get in front of you so they can slow down causing you to hit your brakes.

            If one of these things happen, a word to the wise. Get away from them as quickly as possible. The evening news is littered with stories of potentially bad outcomes when dealing with baboons of this variety. Do your best not to become a statistic.

            Another area of automotive nastiness, that has become a recurring topic on the news lately, is the over the top violence being display by numerous police agencies across the Southland.

            It is not an exaggeration when I say that not a week goes by when we aren't treated to another tale of one or more officers losing their tempers and roughing up a suspect before they make it to the patrol car.

            You would think in these days where everyone is carrying a cell phone with a camera in it that these supposed keepers of  the  peace  would be a little more cognizant of the fact that they are under constant surveillance.  Often it looks like they don't care, but they should.

            I have always been a champion of the police. I mean who are you going to call if you have a problem?  Your local gang members? These people are the public servants that we put our trust in. That is why it is such a shock when we see these beatings and shootings.

            As much as we all would like to blindly put our trust in them you have to remember there isn't a group of individuals anywhere that is immune to the bad apple syndrome.  So if there ever was a group that needs to be put under a microscope constantly it is our police agencies. For the most part, they are the ones that others look to as barometers on how to act and react .

            So,  our boys and girls in blue, you need to lead by example and be more aware of the image you are portraying to the public. If it is viewed as acceptable behavior to react violently and in a mean spirited manner, regardless of the situation,  it will continue to create a circle of viciousness that none of us want.

            Like they say....Monkey See, Monkey Do.

Bill Dunn has been a published opinion columnist for 14 years. Any comments  can be sent to either our exalted  editor at  tmiller@beaconmedianews.com   or  to Bill directly at dunnsinferno@casegod.com   You can also find Bill on Facebook  at :   www.facebook.com/WhenAllisSaidandDunn                           

SMOKIN'

"Smoke smoke smoke that cigarette puff puff puff and if you smoke yourself to death
Tell St Peter at the Golden Gate that you hate to make him wait
But you just gotta have another cigarette"

.... "Smoke, Smoke, Smoke  That Cigarette" by Merle Travis/Tex Wiiliams

            On June 15th I had an anniversary, well two actually. Two that will always be linked. It was on that day two years ago that I had a heart attack. It was also the last day I had a cigarette and became an ex smoker. The one thing that I didn't want to become is one of "those" ex smokers. You know the ones who bitch louder than any non smoker ever does.

            Everyone that I knew before quitting always gives me the thumbs up and high fives  when they find out that I have continued to stick with the program. I appreciate the support, but most of those people know me well enough to know that I am not doing this because I want to. It is more out of need than want.

            Let's just say that a heart attack is a pretty effective motivator when it comes to quitting smoking .  Maybe not for everyone, but it certainly was  for me.

            When I say not everyone that became clear two days after my stay in the hospital began. One of the nurses at the time was pleasantly surprised when I didn't request to have someone walk me out to the smoking area. Smoking area? For someone who just had a heart attack? Yeah, that's what I thought too.

            While I didn't ask, I figured there was some sort of catch. Like you could only smoke the cigarettes the hospital provided and they cost $1,000 a pack. Well $999.99 after Anthem Blue Cross paid their share. As I laid there in that hospital bed I came to grips with reality that my smoking days were done. 42 years was a long run. Obviously too long.

            My smoking days and my wife Stacey's as well. The day I got out of the hospital our home became a non smoking zone. Had she not joined me on this journey, I know that I would never had made it. I will always thank her for that.  She has been a rock and a continuous support.

            Despite that unwavering support I still think about it every day. No matter what I do during the course of the day that little devil on my shoulder is always  there poking me with his pitchfork. The best I can do is brush the little bastard away and change my focus.

            While people who have never smoked will never understand what I am about to say, in all honesty, I have to say it. I loved smoking.

            If tomorrow the Surgeon General  released a statement saying they made a huge mistake and that it was actually good for you, I would be the first one in line at the smoke shop, money in hand.

            During my career as a smoker, the cigarette was tied to so many things that once I stopped they all came to the forefront of my thoughts. Like what I am doing right now, writing. You would find it mindboggling how many I would consume during the course of writing one piece. Then after I completed it I would treat myself to, what else? Another cigarette.

            You would have thought I was one of Pavlov's dogs and cigarettes were my food. There were certain things that I would do, like the completion of yard work or even answering the phone in my office, that had the same effect as Pavlov's ringing bell on me. As soon as one of those things would happen  it would be time for me to light one up. Pavlov's dogs would salivate. I would smoke. I'm not sure which was more gross. I do know which the majority of the public is thinking nowadays.

            You used to be able to smoke everywhere. Movie theatres, bars, restaurants, airplanes, even in your seats at a Dodgers game. Now you can't smoke in your own apartment and in some cases there are entire cities where you can't puff in public.

            And, in what I am sure is the wave of the future, Vietnam has become a non smoking country and one where you can't even advertise the product.

            Speaking of advertising, I think we have all got the message with the "Scared Straight" CDC advertisements that play every other commercial on TV. For someone in my position these make my quitting ever harder. Not because watching Susie getting a sponge bath from her son Daniel doesn't look enticing, but  it is a constant reminder that I am not smoking.

            As it is I have plenty of positive reminders in my life without the doom and gloom scenarios they portray. Things that while I was smoking I heard about, but thought I was immune to.

            Like the constant smell of tobacco on my hair and clothing. The presence of a constant cough and the difficulty in my breathing that was more of a wheeze than taking a breath. My ability to smell the person smoking who is two cars ahead of me at an intersection. Dude, if you are going to smoke at least roll up your window!

            Oh my god, I have become one of those ex smokers.

            It looks like I "chose" the right time to quit.

             Bill Dunn has been a published opinion columnist for 14 years. Any comments  can be sent to either our exalted  editor at  tmiller@beaconmedianews.com   or  to Bill directly at dunnsinferno@casegod.com You can also find Bill on Facebook  at :   www.facebook.com/WhenAllisSaidandDunn                          

OF BUDDHISTS AND TRANSGENDER QUEENS

            You never know how people are going to react when they buck the trends of what is considered normal. Lately it seems like those boundaries are being pushed no matter where you are in this twisted world.  A couple have caught my attention lately and I thought I would share them with you.

            Here locally we have a little brouhaha cooking up in the City of Rosemead. It started as a group of neighbors complaining about the stench coming from a local slaughterhouse and has now blossomed into a full blown religious lawsuit.

            It should never have gotten this far, but now that the Chinese American Live Poultry Vikon Inc., or CAL Poultry for short, is coming up on its city imposed closing, they are grasping at straws. In particular, the religious straw, in order to keep its doors open. So let the litigious sucking begin.

            The two owners of CAL Poultry and one of their customers are suing the City claiming religious persecution against the Buddhist religion. Apparently Buddhists rely heavily on freshly slaughtered chickens as part of their religious practice and CAL poultry is the closest one for folks here in the San Gabriel Valley.

            I'm no vegetarian nor a chicken rights activist, but I am a staunch anti stink activist and if I lived anywhere near to CAL Poultry I wouldn't care what they were doing there, I would want it gone. 

            In a true display as to how clueless city governments can be the story goes like this:  Cal Poultry opened in January 1991. Rosemead's city council passed an ordinance prohibiting  poultry slaughter within the city limits in May of 1991. For some mysterious reason the city allowed CAL poultry to keep operating. 

            CAL Poultry remained open and allowed to smell up the area until the complaints reached a fevered pitch in 2010.   That's when the current Rosemead City Council jumped into action. They ordered ALL poultry slaughterhouses in Rosemead to pack their cleavers and get out of Dodge, well Rosemead. They were given until May 13th 2012. To nobody's surprise CAL Poultry  was the only one left after 19 years and I think felt a little singled out.

            So, as  Rosemead's City Attorney was quoted as saying "the City wasn't surprised" when CAL Poultry filed their lawsuit on March 21st.  So due to the bizarre inaction of all the previous city councils of Rosemead the weirdness has begun anew instead of just ending.  Trust me kids, I couldn't make this up if I tried.

            So chicken killers suing a local city on behalf of the Buddhist religion is not weird enough for you? Then let's turn our attention to the world of beauty pageants shall we?

            The pageant in question is Miss Canada and the contestant is finalist Jenna Talackova . Over the course of the last couple of weeks we have seen Miss Talackova  go from being a contestant, to being ousted as a contestant, to being reinstated as a contestant. She has been one busy girl.

            The reason for these changes is because Jenna was born a male.  There is nothing wrong with that. Some of the best people I know were born male. Most stay that way, but who am I to deny anyone the right to follow their dreams?

            The major bone of contention here was how Jenna listed her gender on her application.  She described herself as female which is how she had viewed herself since the age of 4. The term that everyone has attached to her since this dust up began is transgender.

             Being the enlightened forward thinking individual that I am, or at least that I think I am, I thought I knew what that meant. Once I did a little research I found the transgender/transsexual waters to be muddied at best. There are numerous descriptions that Jenna could have used and transgender works as good as any of them. Let's just say, for brevity's sake, that Jenna has had all the necessary procedures to qualify her as a her.

            So more power to her. Not only do I admire her for making a decision and sticking to it, the results are amazing. She looks absolutely stunning and is a real head turner. 

            She actually looks just like the type of woman Donald Trump might hook up with or marry, but I don't think that will be happening any time soon.  You see the comb over king is the one that owns the Miss Canada pageant, as well as the Miss Universe pageant and was the first voice we heard on TMZ saying Jenna was not the type of gal the pageant wanted.  As far as he was concerned, she was out.

            That was until Jenna solicited the help of, or was it solicited by, attorney and professional self promoter Gloria Alred. All of a sudden Donny and Miss Canada changed their tune and Jenna was back in the contest.  Gloria seems to have that effect on people.

            Even though I know she won't, I really hope Jenna makes it to Miss Universe. I never watch the show, but I would if she was in the mix and I'm sure I wouldn't be the only one. I'm betting, along with Donny & Gloria, if Miss Canada is televised it will have its highest ratings ever.

            Gee I wonder if Gloria knows about CAL Poultry yet? I'm sure that's a case that she can sink her teeth in to.

Bill Dunn has been a published opinion columnist for 14 years. Any comments  can be sent to either our exalted  editor at  tmiller@beaconmedianews.com   or  to Bill directly at dunnsinferno@casegod.com You can also find Bill on Facebook  at :   www.facebook.com/WhenAllisSaidandDunn                           

THE SWARM OF THE COUNCILITES

    At times attempting to pay attention to what is going on in your
local government is not unlike having a swarm of bees living in
your head.  So began the recent buzzing in my brain.
        It started a couple of weeks ago when the current mayor in the rotation
here in Temple City, Tom Chavez, got the bad news that his city sponsored
vacation, I mean business trip, to China had been cancelled.
        He was planning on going on a currency quest to see if some foreign
investors there would like to swap some cash for permanent residency with
some EB-5 visas. EB-5 has become a very popular little program nowadays
where foreign investors with enough cash, $500,000.00  is the minimum buy
in, and the desire to live in the U.S., can work out a deal.
        Tom and his councilites wanted to use the dough to kick start what is
currently called "The Gateway" formerly called "The Piazza" but will
always be known to residents in the San Gabriel Valley as "The Fiasco at
Rosemead and Las Tunas".
        His council buddies said that due to the recent Wong, Wilson & Wang
scandal they weren't going to underwrite his little jaunt, for fear of
possibly perceived impropriety.  City manager, Jose Pulido, voiced his
disappointment saying he hoped that the cash would help them start the
Fiasco, I mean the Gateway construction at the same time they would be
starting the demolition and alleged beautification of Rosemead Boulevard.
        Say what? Okay I'll get back to that in a minute. Let me get you caught
up on the China excursion first.
        In what I personally view as kind of an odd turn of events, Randy "I
Couldn't Build A House Of Cards If My Life Depended On It" Wang who was
at the heart of the scandal that sent Cathe Wilson and Judy Wong to
prison and is the one that has been holding the corner of Las Tunas and
Rosemead hostage, is paying for a couple of members of the Temple City
chamber of commerce to go with him to China.
        Talk about your perceived impropriety. They may not be city employees,
but I have a funny feeling that the potential investors they are going
after may get the impression that they are. Just call me suspicious, but
I can hear the excuse "lost in translation" being used somewhere down the
line when future litigation is being discussed.
        Now back to the construction double dipping on Rosemead Boulevard that
city manager Pulido was referring to.
        Back in October I made a call to city hall to ask a couple of questions
on the "proposed" modifications to Rosemead Boulevard, the street on
which I live. I had received a flyer about a meeting that invited
residents to share their concerns about the "proposed" renovations. The
artist rendering shown on the flyer included solid medians full of trees,
shrubberies, and faceless people walking  and riding bicycles.
        What I wanted to know was, if there was a median in front of my driveway
that would prevent me, or anyone else, from making left turns in or out
of their driveways and businesses.
        The answer was, of course, yes.
        The people on the committee that I spoke to, Kristi and Steve, sent me
straight to the top. Via e-mail, they hooked me up with council member
and head of the committee, Carl Blum, with the requisite cc's to council
member Vince Yu and city manager Jose Pulido.
        Carl was quick on the e-mail draw. In part he stated the following: "I
understand the concern you brought up and will add it to the comments we
will receive at Thursday's meeting.  We will evaluate the input we get
and will determine what adjustments we feel need to be made to the
proposed design.  We will probably not finish that process until late
October. We will get back to you at that time."
        His email made me feel special and that my concerns mattered. The council
would see what a burden their plans would be for me and my neighbors.
They would find a way to modify their plans to please their citizens.
        I can be such an idealistic fool sometimes, and this was one of them.
        When the time frame ol' Carl had specified had come and gone I started to
smell something foul. I shot him off an e-mail to see if he and his
buddies had found their erasers yet.
        Carl's response?:  "While it would cause some minor  inconvenience to
those living on the east side of the 5100 block of Rosemead Blvd who
might wish to travel south on Rosemead Blvd, they would be able to travel
north for a short distance to Sereno and then loop around to Sultana and
then to Pentland and enter Rosemead Blvd to go south at the traffic
signal at Pentland or they could go a little further north and make a
u-turn at the traffic signal at Broadway.  It would be no different than
for those who live along the many miles of wider more heavily traveled
roadways that already have medians (including much of Rosemead Blvd,
Huntington Drive, Santa Anita Dr., and Baldwin Ave as examples)."
        I learned two things from his response. First, it confirms my long  held
belief that they put hallucinogens in the water at city hall. Second, I
now know what classifies as a "minor inconvenience" in the eyes of the
current city council.
        I wonder what they would call it  if someone put a barrier in front of
their house preventing them from making a left turn in or out of their
driveway? Somehow I don't think the word "minor" would be involved.
        A few questions popped into my spinning head as I read his email. Who
decided that the 17 million dollars available for this project should be
spent on this?  Why, just because mistakes were made on Rosemead,
Huntington and Baldwin, should we repeat them?
        And the biggest why of all? Why would anybody think it would be a good
idea to begin two major construction projects on the same street at the
same time? Isn't this something that the residents in the city, if not
all the surrounding cities, should be deciding on? Or don't you care what
kind of traffic nightmare you would be causing for all of our neighbors?
        Oh that's right, I forgot, it would only be a minor inconvenience. Kind
of like having bees living in your head.

WELL THAT CERTAINLY BLEW

            Well it was very nice to see that the San Gabriel Valley got a little press during the last couple of weeks.  As they say, "any press is good press". 

            Here in Los Angeles County this area is primarily ignored by most of the news outlets unless it pertains to something horrific or a major league political scandal.  To be honest, the last political brouhaha  we had here, Temple City's bribery dust up, was hardly a blip on the radar.

            That was until early in the morning of Thursday the 6th of December.

            The weathermen on the news had given us a brief warning. We were going to be getting some fairly strong winds, but their warning didn't come with the usual relish and apocalyptic doom that usually accompany reports pertaining to any change in our weather.

            So I was a little concerned as I heard the escalating gusts outside my window around midnight. The wind chimes were working extra hard and suddenly I started hearing some of the potted plants leaving their perches on the walls.

            This was not the usual Santa Ana winds that I was used to hearing this time of year. It was time to put down the patio umbrella before it started doing a Mary Poppins impersonation.  Once outside, my suspicions were confirmed. After my task was complete I made a hasty return to my bed.  Hopefully I would awake to a couple of barrels full of leaves and that would be the end of it.

            Boy was I wrong.

            At approximately 1:36 a.m., my wife and I were awakened once again by the winds and as soon as our eyes opened all signs of light went out.  There was nothing to do but set the cell phone as an alarm clock for work in the morning and hope for the best.

            When we got up later that Thursday the power was still off and it was as though we had landed in Oz.  When I opened my front door the pile of leaves and cypress tree droppings created a leafy version of a snow drift. While I viewed this at that moment as disastrous, I had no idea the level of the destruction I was in for beginning with the Gingko tree in my backyard which split and blew over due to the force of the winds. Fortunately it fell in my yard and neither one of my neighbors' yards.

            Once on my way to Glendale the fallen trees and vast amounts of debris that littered the streets made my journey more like a ride at Disneyland than a morning commute.  My usual route through the side streets of northern San Gabriel and east Pasadena  was blocked at every turn by huge fallen trees and branches that were bigger than my car.

            The biggest shock came at the corner of San Gabriel & Colorado Boulevards with the sight of the crushed Shell gas station. Obviously the surrealism of this vision wasn't lost on me alone. The corner was surrounded by TV news vans and appeared on the front pages of newspapers  the following day. The image became the symbolic poster child for this event.

            As anybody who lives in this area will tell you the next week would be trying on everyone's patience.  We would wake every morning to a symphony of chain saws and refrigerators of spoiling food. Those of us who were lucky had our power back in a few days, others it took a week.

            Many were calling for the heads of their city councils and local Edison/Water & Power officials with equal venom. While there were death threats made to Water & Power workers on the street by octogenarians in Pasadena, things were looking even uglier here in the City of Temple. In a town that many still refer to as Mayberry, the villagers were sharpening their pitchforks and getting ready to storm the castle, I mean city hall.

            Then, as if by magic, the balance shifted back to the majority having power instead of the other way around. People who had abandoned their homes so they could access their Facebook accounts at nearby hotels, returned. The pitchforks were put back into their outlines on the walls of the garages and the refrigerators were restocked.

            Life was good again in the land of Andy, Opie, and Aunt Bee.

Bill Dunn has been a published opinion columnist for 14 years. Any comments  can be sent to either our exalted  editor at  tmiller@beaconmedianews.com   or  to Bill directly at dunnsinferno@casegod.com   You can also find Bill on Facebook  at :   www.facebook.com/WhenAllisSaidandDunn