REMEMBERING WHAT'S IMPORTANT

            The madness continued in America last week as we, as a nation, shook our heads and shed a collective tear for the victims in Newtown, Connecticut. Despite what the talking heads on the news want to assume, nobody knows what was going through the killer's head prior to the bullet that ended his life, and we never will.

            Personally, I don't care what his motivations and reasons were. Did his mom, who he also killed, spank him too much or deny him additional television time? Again, I don't care and to spend any additional time discussing it is pointless.

            What is important is the healing that needs to happen now. Not just with the families in Newtown, but with any family that has young children who have been exposed to the onslaught of the media's salacious coverage of the tragedy.

            In their efforts to keep us informed, they always lose sight of the damage that they are doing to their youngest viewers. They may want to console themselves by thinking that all the young ones out there are being insulated from the tidal wave of descriptions their words paint, but they are not. Those mental pictures are the things that children's nightmares are made of.

            As a parent, I cannot begin to imagine the level of grief and pain that the parents of the victims are going through. I can only look at my grown children and be thankful that my wife and I were there for them as much as we could be. As a parent that is all you can do. You know that you can't be there every second of every day. You can only wish you were.

            As I listened to the President speak at the memorial service for the victims he echoed that very sentiment. He also said he wants to find a way, as do we all, to make these senseless killings stop. It is a tall order and to be honest, one that I don't see a solution to. Evil will always be with us, as will good. The only thing that we can hope for is that the scales of humanity stay tilted in the direction of good.

            The two parts of the equation are guns and mental health, both  of which are  too prickly of pears for most people to swallow. While stricter gun control might be part of the solution, the second amendment will never go away and  mental illness can only be monitored so far.  If there is a cure for what is ailing us as a nation it is going to be a tough one to find.

            There is one thing that a tragedy like this does make clear and that is how petty some of the things we choose to complain about seem. It puts into perspective what is truly important, especially during this time of year.

            It is not about who won or lost an election, the person in front of you that cuts you off on the freeway on the way home or the guy ahead of you who grabs the last Xbox off the shelf at Walmart.  It's about the people in your life. The ones you love and who love you.  Relish every moment that they are with you because nothing lasts forever.

            Make sure that they know how happy you are that they are part of your world. Life is hard enough without looking back later and wishing you had.

            Once that door is closed there is no opening it again.

            Happy Holidays and may we all have a better New Year.

Bill Dunn has been a published opinion columnist for 15 years. Any comments  can be sent to either our exalted  editor at  tmiller@beaconmedianews.com   or  to Bill directly at dunnsinferno@casegod.com   You can also find Bill on Facebook  at :   www.facebook.com/WhenAllisSaidandDunn                          

SO SPRY IN THE MIND'S EYE

           I made the mistake of looking at a few old family photo albums the other day. If  you ever have an overwhelming need to feel older in a hurry nothing will do it quicker.            Well maybe with the exception of stumbling on some unexpected vintage photos of yourself on Facebook. That can do the trick as well. They are usually thanks to those who have a burning desire to continually relive those four years they spent in high school, not that there's anything wrong with that, but being the mad hatter that I am, it is not my cup of tea.            

            The pictures of me from my high school era I barely remember. So when I look at them today they feel completely surrealistic, as though it's not me.

            No, it's the ones that are from twenty to twenty five years ago that really get to me.  That's a period of time that I can remember vividly, even though there are large chunks that I probably shouldn't,  it is still how I imagine myself to be in my mind's eye.

            So as I flipped through the albums looking at myself when I was thin, my hair was long and still dark, I wondered, how did this happen so fast? It's like it was just yesterday that I didn't have kids and was dressed like, well, dressed like the rest of the twenty something 80's geeks, but boy did I think I was stylin'.

            You could see it in my eyes and in the eyes of everyone else my age in every picture in the album. We all had that youthful swagger.  Every generation does.  Then we always look back later and say "What  the hell were we thinking?".

            Then, as if that little trip down memory lane wasn't traumatic enough, I noticed in the cupboard next to the photo albums there were stacks of home videos from when my marriage and kids were young.  Being the masochist that I am I started watching a few of them.

            It was fun to see the kids as toddlers again now that they are 21 and 23 years old. The conversations from back then are nothing like they are now. They were a bit more one sided. In those days it was harder to communicate , but those exchanges had their advantages. They were usually free of any type of disagreement or debate.          

            Luckily I was the one doing the majority of the filming so this journey wasn't as painful as the photo albums because I was out of view for the most part.  Just like that period of time, my cinematic odyssey had to come to an end, and back into the cupboard the videos went.

            Then came the thoughts that I share with everyone my age and older. Whenever I look into the mirror or at a current picture I think, who is that? It kind of looks like me except I've  swollen and my hair is grayer.

            I suppose I could dye my hair in an effort to turn back the hands of time, but that's not me. The hair may be getting thinner, but I'm not a Rogaine type of guy either. If the day comes when my head is more scalp than hair I will definitely have to go the Bruce Willis/Andre Agassi route.

            Things that used to look silly to me now take on a new view. Like when I see commercials for AARP or a Hoveround on TV or get those spam emails from the Scooter Store.  I find myself  paying a little closer attention and they're not quite as humorous as I once thought. Now I look at them as being more on the  informative side and something that may be useful in the near future.

            Then when I realize what my mind is doing and I want to slap myself. It may be the still lingering Peter Pan complex I can't seem to shake, but regardless of what my body is doing I still don't want to grow up.

             I am glad the pictures and the videos still exist and that they were taken out for a brief perusal. Most of you who still have them do what I do. We leave them hidden in a dark cupboard, forgotten,  until we are motivated to go down that road. In this case I was asked to find some pictures of my sister Sue and so this little search began.  It can be something as simple as that to open the door to your own adventure down the rabbit hole of memories.

            Once you do it, beware. The next thing you know you will be calling Lifestyle Lift because Debbie Boone told you to do so on a commercial you just saw.

Bill Dunn has been a published opinion columnist for 14 years. Any comments  can be sent to either our exalted  editor at  tmiller@beaconmedianews.com   or  to Bill directly at dunnsinferno@casegod.com   You can also find Bill on Facebook  at :   www.facebook.com/WhenAllisSaidandDunn                          

MEAN STREETS IN MONKEYTOWN

   

            I don't know for sure, but it seems like the world is getting meaner. I sometimes feel as though every time I step out of my door that peril lies just outside. Maybe it's just me being paranoid, but as Kurt Cobain was attributed as saying , "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you."

            It could be the times we live in, these days of financial uncertainty. I especially feel this way when I am behind the wheel of my car. It's as though some people feel that being in control of 2000 pounds of plastic and steel gives them power they aren't experiencing in the rest of their lives. 

            When that power is not recognized, there is an unprecedented level of anger that comes to the surface and is displayed in bizarre ways. Like using their vehicle as a weapon.

            Forget the term Road Rage. That term seems far too timid for the level of what can best be described as venomous hatred toward fellow travelers. Drivers nowadays , in growing numbers, are taking it to an entirely different level.

            No longer is an extended middle finger a sufficient display of  your disapproval with other drivers ineptitude while attempting to navigate the mean streets of Southern California. Now the point needs to be driven home by instilling fear into your fellow driver.

            This is not  to say the middle finger is not an effective way to covey your feelings initially, but it can be a jumping off point that can escalate into a more intense situation. This is depending on the intelligence level of the mobile Neanderthal you are dealing with.

            If your digit exchange is with someone of a higher I.Q.  it is basically a two finger conversation and then you both move on your merry ways. It is generally with your lower level primates that you run into trouble and you can tell almost immediately if you have one of these crazy apes on your hands.

            They are the ones who feel that they need to have a conversation with you, audible or not. If that doesn't satisfy their increasing madness, and they are headed in the same direction as you are, watch out. Their next step is probably going to be one of two things. Tailgating you at a dangerously close distance or  speeding up to get in front of you so they can slow down causing you to hit your brakes.

            If one of these things happen, a word to the wise. Get away from them as quickly as possible. The evening news is littered with stories of potentially bad outcomes when dealing with baboons of this variety. Do your best not to become a statistic.

            Another area of automotive nastiness, that has become a recurring topic on the news lately, is the over the top violence being display by numerous police agencies across the Southland.

            It is not an exaggeration when I say that not a week goes by when we aren't treated to another tale of one or more officers losing their tempers and roughing up a suspect before they make it to the patrol car.

            You would think in these days where everyone is carrying a cell phone with a camera in it that these supposed keepers of  the  peace  would be a little more cognizant of the fact that they are under constant surveillance.  Often it looks like they don't care, but they should.

            I have always been a champion of the police. I mean who are you going to call if you have a problem?  Your local gang members? These people are the public servants that we put our trust in. That is why it is such a shock when we see these beatings and shootings.

            As much as we all would like to blindly put our trust in them you have to remember there isn't a group of individuals anywhere that is immune to the bad apple syndrome.  So if there ever was a group that needs to be put under a microscope constantly it is our police agencies. For the most part, they are the ones that others look to as barometers on how to act and react .

            So,  our boys and girls in blue, you need to lead by example and be more aware of the image you are portraying to the public. If it is viewed as acceptable behavior to react violently and in a mean spirited manner, regardless of the situation,  it will continue to create a circle of viciousness that none of us want.

            Like they say....Monkey See, Monkey Do.

Bill Dunn has been a published opinion columnist for 14 years. Any comments  can be sent to either our exalted  editor at  tmiller@beaconmedianews.com   or  to Bill directly at dunnsinferno@casegod.com   You can also find Bill on Facebook  at :   www.facebook.com/WhenAllisSaidandDunn