WELL THAT CERTAINLY BLEW

            Well it was very nice to see that the San Gabriel Valley got a little press during the last couple of weeks.  As they say, "any press is good press". 

            Here in Los Angeles County this area is primarily ignored by most of the news outlets unless it pertains to something horrific or a major league political scandal.  To be honest, the last political brouhaha  we had here, Temple City's bribery dust up, was hardly a blip on the radar.

            That was until early in the morning of Thursday the 6th of December.

            The weathermen on the news had given us a brief warning. We were going to be getting some fairly strong winds, but their warning didn't come with the usual relish and apocalyptic doom that usually accompany reports pertaining to any change in our weather.

            So I was a little concerned as I heard the escalating gusts outside my window around midnight. The wind chimes were working extra hard and suddenly I started hearing some of the potted plants leaving their perches on the walls.

            This was not the usual Santa Ana winds that I was used to hearing this time of year. It was time to put down the patio umbrella before it started doing a Mary Poppins impersonation.  Once outside, my suspicions were confirmed. After my task was complete I made a hasty return to my bed.  Hopefully I would awake to a couple of barrels full of leaves and that would be the end of it.

            Boy was I wrong.

            At approximately 1:36 a.m., my wife and I were awakened once again by the winds and as soon as our eyes opened all signs of light went out.  There was nothing to do but set the cell phone as an alarm clock for work in the morning and hope for the best.

            When we got up later that Thursday the power was still off and it was as though we had landed in Oz.  When I opened my front door the pile of leaves and cypress tree droppings created a leafy version of a snow drift. While I viewed this at that moment as disastrous, I had no idea the level of the destruction I was in for beginning with the Gingko tree in my backyard which split and blew over due to the force of the winds. Fortunately it fell in my yard and neither one of my neighbors' yards.

            Once on my way to Glendale the fallen trees and vast amounts of debris that littered the streets made my journey more like a ride at Disneyland than a morning commute.  My usual route through the side streets of northern San Gabriel and east Pasadena  was blocked at every turn by huge fallen trees and branches that were bigger than my car.

            The biggest shock came at the corner of San Gabriel & Colorado Boulevards with the sight of the crushed Shell gas station. Obviously the surrealism of this vision wasn't lost on me alone. The corner was surrounded by TV news vans and appeared on the front pages of newspapers  the following day. The image became the symbolic poster child for this event.

            As anybody who lives in this area will tell you the next week would be trying on everyone's patience.  We would wake every morning to a symphony of chain saws and refrigerators of spoiling food. Those of us who were lucky had our power back in a few days, others it took a week.

            Many were calling for the heads of their city councils and local Edison/Water & Power officials with equal venom. While there were death threats made to Water & Power workers on the street by octogenarians in Pasadena, things were looking even uglier here in the City of Temple. In a town that many still refer to as Mayberry, the villagers were sharpening their pitchforks and getting ready to storm the castle, I mean city hall.

            Then, as if by magic, the balance shifted back to the majority having power instead of the other way around. People who had abandoned their homes so they could access their Facebook accounts at nearby hotels, returned. The pitchforks were put back into their outlines on the walls of the garages and the refrigerators were restocked.

            Life was good again in the land of Andy, Opie, and Aunt Bee.

Bill Dunn has been a published opinion columnist for 14 years. Any comments  can be sent to either our exalted  editor at  tmiller@beaconmedianews.com   or  to Bill directly at dunnsinferno@casegod.com   You can also find Bill on Facebook  at :   www.facebook.com/WhenAllisSaidandDunn                          

NOT JUST ANOTHER DAY

             

              I have been addicted to Halloween ever since I was a little goblin. The idea and the vibe of the holiday have always been a perfect fit with my personality.  I don't know what it is about the day. Possibly being scared, or is it the dressing up and pretending to be someone else for a brief period, or maybe it's the free candy? Maybe it's a combination of them all. At this point in my life it is hard to say.

             As a kid I had an anticipation of its arrival that was only matched by Christmas. The visions that danced in my head were certainly not that of sugarplums, whatever the hell they are. They were more along the lines of dancing skeletons.

            When I had kids of my own I loved taking them trick or treating. Though I know where their love of the holiday was based, the candy was their sole motivation for donning that costume and treading through the neighborhood. They didn't embrace the potential of being scared like I did.

            When they had outgrown their time behind the mask, I missed it and was sad that that brief period of time was over. While I mourned its passing, I consoled myself with my Halloween decorations going up earlier every year in my attempt to stretch out the holiday as long as I could.

            One of the things that I began thinking about was another Halloween loss that happened in between my being a kid and having kids. The loss of one of my favorite bands, Oingo Boingo. If ever there was a musical group that was, or should I say became, synonymous with a particular holiday, it was Oingo Boingo. The dark themes of their music were a perfect fit with the darkest of days. What Bing Crosby was to Christmas, Oingo Boingo was to Halloween.

             I watched them in concert many times, but over the years their Halloween concerts became an event. One that I looked forward to every time it happened here in Los Angeles or Orange County.

            So it was with great sadness when in 1995 they called it quits. Their leader, Danny Elfman, had been seduced by the dark side of the cinematic force. He was going to dedicate his time to making  soundtracks for the movies. Damn you Tim Burton.

            Even if they had never played another Halloween show here locally again but had stayed together I would have had that feeling of comfort knowing that they were out there whipping an audience into a dancing frenzy on All Hallows Eve.

            Then by the grace of Facebook came a sign from the ghost of Halloween's past. The drummer of Oingo Boingo, and SGV native, Johnny "Vatos" Hernandez  has put together a band, with other original members, to play many of Boingo's best songs. Some of the architects of the original band are up and partying once again. The phoenix that has risen from Oingo Boingo's ashes is "Johnny Vatos Boingo Dance Party."

            They are playing a couple of times over the upcoming Halloween weekend, including a show, appropriately, on Halloween Night. Check the internet or Facebook under the band's name for information on show times and venues. 

http://www.johnnyvatos.com/shows.asp  

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Vatos-Boingo-Dance-Party-BAND/175058705851642

            

            Johnny has taken a couple of stabs at tribute shows in the past, in 2005 and 2006, but hopefully he will keep this going for years to come. That way I can rest in peace knowing that the true soundtrack for Halloween is secure.

            Maybe then I will have visions of skeletons dancing in my head every Halloween season. That is how I like it this time of year.

Bill Dunn has been a published opinion columnist for 14 years. Any comments  can be sent to either our exalted  editor at  tmiller@beaconmedianews.com   or  to Bill directly at dunnsinferno@casegod.com   You can also find Bill on Facebook  at :   www.facebook.com/WhenAllisSaidandDunn                          

4 IS THE LONELIEST NUMBER

            There are times when I have to read something more than once before the message penetrates and I realize just how bizarre it is. Such is the odd and irrational case of the fear of the number four.

            For the second time in the last six months I have read how some disgruntled Chinese homeowners in Arcadia want to change their address because the street number contains one or more fours in it. This, they contend, is the reason they can't sell their home quickly.

            In the Chinese community, superstition, according to both articles, runs high and the number four carries some particularly bad mojo with it. It is not because of the number itself. No, that would be far too easy to comprehend. The problem here lies in the world of phonetics.

            Apparently this is because word four in Mandarin happens to sound like the word for death.  And since nobody wants to have the number four in their address, some people, obviously a lot of people, are balking at buying or even looking at those properties.  

One four is bad, but heaven help you if you have more than one.  It is real estate suicide in Arcadia’s highly Asian community. Arcadia, you see, unlike some other cities in the San Gabriel Valley, refuses to change the numbers even for a fee.

            Most of us, who are not shackled by the Mandarin dialect and its superstitions, would never have known about the evil number four and its bad voodoo. That is unless you were trying to sell your home in the San Gabriel Valley and found out that somebody didn't want to even look at your property because, gasp, it had multiple fours!

            According to Adam Gulick in Temple City's planning commission office, all it takes is 500 bucks and your pesky little four will vanish from your Temple City address. He made it sound like when it does happen, which occurs about once every month or two, that the process is easy and no big deal. 

            I got a different response from Jim Donovan at Rosemead's planning commission. He said that despite what the articles in the newspaper said he does not do it easily. He personally reviews every case and makes sure that it does not have a negative impact on adjacent businesses and the neighborhood.

            But once those hurdles have been cleared Rosemead is a bargain next to Temple City. $120.00 smackeroos  gets it done. Sorry Jim, but that is way too cheap in this day and age. If homeowners want to disrupt the natural order of things over a sound alike word they should pay through the nose for it.

            One thing I was wondering about when I first read about this anomaly and its solution, if the person wanting the change got to pick the new number. According to Adam they do not have that luxury.  They cannot say "Hey I like the number 888", like some kind of home version of a personalized license plate. They have to take a number that is chronologically successive.   

            But there is still something that doesn't strike me as right about this whole process. It is like a spoiled child stomping its feet when it doesn't get a piece of candy on demand. I may want a pony, but just because I want one doesn't mean I am going to get one.

            It also makes me want to ask the current homeowners , if the number four was acceptable when you bought the house originally, where were all the objections to this superstition then? I always thought all important superstitions were based on ancient fears and wisdom, or the lack there of.

            I guess this must be a relatively new bit of mumbo jumbo that has made its way to our shores, but I think I have a couple of solutions and an explanation for these homeowners.

            One solution would be to do what many people who can't sell their homes for a couple of months do. Lower your asking price.  Second would be to try marketing your home to the non Mandarin speaking market. While they may be fewer in this area nowadays, I do believe they still exist. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

            And the explanation? It's not the number four that is preventing you from selling your house quickly right now. It's the economy.

            Trust me when I tell you that right now, those are the only numbers that count in this equation. 

Bill Dunn has been a published opinion columnist for 14 years. Any comments  can be sent to either our exalted  editor at  tmiller@beaconmedianews.com   or  to Bill directly at dunnsinferno@casegod.com   You can also find Bill on Facebook  at :   www.facebook.com/WhenAllisSaidandDunn                          

......BUT IT TASTES LIKE CHICKEN

            

            Everybody has something that creeps them out.  Personally, I have numerous little phobias that I can rely on to give me the heebie jeebies.

            Rattlesnakes and black widow spiders are at the top of my list. Well all snakes and spiders really, but rattlesnakes and black widows in particular. Those two and anything that has the name Kardashian attached.

            I'm not particularly crazy about sharks either, especially great whites.  I'm sure that phobia has been a big motivator in keeping me from body surfing for the last 36 years or so, ever since the movie "Jaws" came out. Thanks a lot Spielberg.

            A couple of other things that make the hair on the back of my neck stand up  are alligators and crocodiles.  I'm not sure why.  Perhaps  it's the thought of any lizard getting bigger than I am. But living in this part of the country I really don't have to worry about running into any.

            Luckily, I don't live in Southeast Asia. There, the saltwater version of the crocodile has been known to eat not only humans, but cattle, horses, and water buffalo. The largest one on record was recently captured outside Manila. It's 21 feet long and weighed in at a whopping 2,370 pounds. Now that's one big lizard. That's just a hair bigger than the largest Kardashian.

            It is just one of the many varieties of crocodiles that inhabit that region.  You would think that any reduction in the numbers of  crocodiles, regardless of the variety,  would be welcome. Unfortunately the people at the  International  Union for Conservation of Nature, or IUCN, don't agree.

            You see, the IUCN are the folks responsible for putting together the Red List of endangered species. They believe one of the most critically endangered species out there is the Philippine crocodile.  It doesn't matter how deadly they are,  they must be protected! The IUCN sold the Philippine government on this notion and they have been breeding them in captivity for the last 24 years.

            They now have over 7000 of these little buggers that are ready to be released back into the wild. You know, so they can be taken off the endangered species list.  Unfortunately, none of the local officials want them in or around their towns.  Really? They don't want any man eating lizards devouring their constituents?  Imagine that.

            Look, I am all for protecting an endangered species, well ones that can't make me ill with their bites, eat or kill me. If they fall into any of those categories, I'm  sorry, but I don't really see any reason to keep them around especially in the wild.  As far as the crocodiles, sharks and rattlesnakes go, I wouldn't shed a single tear if they were used to make a belt or a pair of shoes, or served up as an appetizer or entree . I hear that rattlesnake and crocodile taste like chicken, but if that's the case, I'll just stick with chicken.  That is unless there is some species of killer chicken I don't know about.

            To be honest, I don't understand why anyone would want them around  outside of a zoo or a controlled environment of some sort. So I thought I would do a little internet search and see if there were any benefits to letting them roam free.

            As far as the crocodiles go, they fulfill a niche as a top predator in the food chain, which by the way is the only benefit for great white sharks as well. The crocodile's eggs and hatchlings provide a food source for other predators, and they are occasionally used by scientists as bioindicators. That means they  sometimes can give us indications as to the health and stability of the habitats they live in.
            Hey I think I can help the scientists out with that last one. Let's see. If there are crocodiles in the area, it is not safe. How's that?
            Rattlesnakes are even less beneficial. The only thing they are good for is eating rodents and their young. While it does help keep the bubonic plague in check, they primarily live in desert areas. So unless we want to start releasing rattlesnakes in our cities and suburbs it's not really going to help us out much.
            Like I said. I think I will stick with the chicken.

Bill Dunn has been a published opinion columnist for 14 years. Any comments  can be sent to either our exalted  editor at  tmiller@beaconmedianews.com   or  to Bill directly at dunnsinferno@casegod.com   You can also find Bill on Facebook  at :   www.facebook.com/WhenAllisSaidandDunn